5 Ways Smart Women Choose To Be Happy.

Happiness often doesn’t feel much like a choice.

Especially when we constantly encounter things in daily life that threaten our peace of mind.

When your rent is due, your boss is on your back, and your love life is in tatters, simply “choosing” to be cheery doesn’t always feel possible.

But if you’re really clever about it, there are ways that happiness truly does become a choice.

Here’s how smart women choose to be happy…

1) Smart women focus on abundance in their life more than lack

We cannot wait for life to be perfect before we let ourselves be happy.

As much of an optimist as I am, the simple fact is it’s never going to happen. Life isn’t perfect, neither are we.

We can’t always control the hand we are dealt, but we can decide where we put our focus.

And that choice is a significant one when it comes to creating more happiness.

Focus on lack, and that’s what you’ll feel.

Focus on abundance and you start to experience deeper gratitude for all that you already have.

Regardless of how much more you still want out of life.

Because it’s certainly not about “settling” for less. It’s about recognizing that what you have is never enough when you don’t feel appreciation for it.

Gratitude has been shown to be a powerful cultivator of greater wellbeing and happiness in our lives.

Research highlights that it helps us feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences, improves our health, helps us deal with adversity, and builds strong relationships.

Smart women make the most of what they’ve already got, simply by paying attention to it.

Smart women don’t get too wrapped up in themselves

Can I be honest?

I’m a total self-help junkie. I love delving deep into what makes me tick to try to gain better understanding and self awareness.

Of course, that’s not a bad thing in itself. Personal development is important.

But sometimes I worry.

I worry that too much navel-gazing might actually make me a bit self absorbed.

There’s certainly something to be said for turning our attention away from ourselves and on to others.

Research has shown that people who give back and try to serve are actually happier.

For example, one study by a Harvard Business School professor found that when we give money away it makes us happier than if we spend it on ourselves.

Perhaps one of the reasons a focus on others makes us happier is because it improves a sense of social connection.

And, going back to our previous point, giving also elicits feelings of gratitude.

Smart women aren’t afraid to put themselves first and make their needs known

It might sound like a contradiction.

I’ve literally just said that smart women choose happiness by not making everything about them.

But of course, there is a balance to strike.

And the reality is that plenty of women suffer from people Pleasing tendencies that all too often rob them of their voice.

They feel guilty for saying “no”, perhaps worrying they are letting others down.

Or they struggle to assert themselves, fearing the judgement that could come their way as a consequence.

But choosing to be happy means allowing your own needs and wants to be heard.

If you always put everyone else’s desires, ideas, and feelings above your own it’s actually a form of self-betrayal.

You are subconsciously saying you are less worthy of happiness than those around you.

4) Smart women take full responsibility for their own life

A smart woman knows this to be true:

Until we take responsibility, for ourselves we remain victims in life.

And it’s so hard to choose to be happy when you forever feel at the mercy of other people, or even life itself.

When crappy things happen to us, it’s really tempting to look for someone or something to blame.

Especially when we know it’s certainly not our fault.

But the danger of this mentality is that it can take away your power.

Smart women decide that by taking ownership—over their own feelings and actions—they also take back control.

They feel more in charge of their own destiny as a consequence. They feel more confident in themselves and self assured about their capabilities.

This encourages smart women to be more proactive and welcome more opportunities into their lives.

5. Smart women try not to not sweat the small stuff

Have you ever noticed that the better life gets, we can find even smaller and seemingly inconsequential things to gripe about?

I recently moved house, and it turned out to be way more stressful than I was expecting.

I found myself feeling anxious and wound up about relatively pointless things in the grand scheme of life.

Things like missing deliveries, constantly chasing customer services, and builders going AWOL.

Sure, it’s annoying, but is it really a big deal? Nope.

These trivialities also do some serious damage to our overall wellbeing.

Research has found these little annoyances (that we can’t even control) still raise our stress hormones up to 15%.

I know it’s easier said than done, but smart women choose happiness by reflecting on whether it’s really worth the effort worrying about something or not.

Because more often than not, when we stop to remind ourselves, it’s probably not worth losing our happiness over.