What you do every day determines what kind of man you will be.
Good routines will boost the quality of your life like Dom Toretto his car when he pushes the NOS button in The Fast & The Furious. It’s why bestselling author James Clear calls habits the “compound interest of self-improvement.”
While sporadic actions make you feel good for a short time, they won’t bring meaningful change.
- One healthy meal won’t give you a six pack
- Reading a few pages on the weekend won’t give you life-changing knowledge
- Writing a relationship journal once won’t solve the problems with your partner
If you want to become the man you dream of being, your best bet is to establish the right habits – here are six I’ve tried and tested.
Boost Your Creativity, Productivity, and Happiness by Doing Niksen
Sometimes sitting and doing nothing is the best something you can do.” – Karen Salmansohn
When was the last time you did nothing?
We live in a hyperactive world. Netflix, work emails, and buzzing smartphones. Juggling a career, family, and personal growth at the same time is hard. Doing nothing will improve your hectic life in many ways.
- It boosts your creativity and problem-solving skills. Research by the University of Lancashire shows the benefits of seeking out boredom.
- It makes you happier. Psychoanalyst Manfred Kets de Vries says, “keeping busy can be a very effective defense mechanism for warding off disturbing thoughts and feelings.” Face them instead so you can improve your life.
- It makes you more productive. This sounds crazy, but consultancy Ernst & Young found workers get 8% more done for every ten hours of vacation. A well-rested mind is a productive one.
Every Sunday, I block one hour to sit on my porch with a pen and paper, do nothing, and let my subconscious bring up whatever it wants to.
The Dutch, one of the happiest people in the world, call this practice Niksen.
Self-improvement doesn’t get any easier.
Try this habit if:
- You’re constantly busy and always have something going on
- You find yourself constantly distracting yourself with social media
- You rarely take time for yourself
- You want an easy way to find solutions to your problems
Harness Your Excess Sexual Energy and Use It for Something Productive
“We gain the strength of the temptation we resist.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson.
Every time you masturbate, you give 100 million unrealized offspring a theme park ride through the local drainage system and flush your sexual energy with them.
I used to be a chronic masturbator and watch porn multiple times a day. What started as a natural urge turned into a toxic habit that drained my energy and messed with my sex life. Then, I committed to nofap – in other words, no self-made orgasms.
- My energy and drive went through the roof like rockets in a burning firecracker factory
- My confidence improved drastically
- My sex drive increased and I enjoyed the horizontal tango and physical sensations much more
Many other men I’ve spoken to report the same.
When you feel the urge, use your sexual energy to do something productive instead. This could be exercising, a creative endeavor, heck it could just be cleaning your place.
Try this habit if:
- You never tried it (it’s one of the things you should challenge yourself to experience at least once in your life)
- You want insane amounts of energy, drive, and motivation
- You watch porn and masturbate too frequently
Turn Yourself Into a Powerful Bastion of Calm
“The nearer a man comes to a calm mind, the closer he is to strength.” – Marcus Aurelius
Panic, confusion, and anger get you nowhere. They only make difficult situations worse by stressing you out.
I used to be a hot-headed nuclear bomb with a short fuse. Stress was my drug and once I was high, I couldn’t stop. The results were grey hairs and failed relationships.
Daily meditation has turned me into a bastion of calm. You can achieve the same so you perform better in:
- High-stake meetings at work
- Difficult talks with your partner
- Lessons you teach your kids
All you need is a simple meditation habit. I’ve found the best method for beginners is a body scan. Close your eyes and focus your awareness on the small area between your lips and nose, then let it wander through your body.
Keep these tips in mind:
- You don’t have to “achieve” anything. The essence of meditation is accepting and being in the present moment as it is.
- Don’t try to not think. If thoughts come up, let them be and go. The goal is to increase the time between them.
Try this habit if:
- You have anxiety or stress out in difficult situations
- You want to stay calm no matter what life throws at you
- You want to improve your ability to focus on a task for hours so you can become more productive
Learn To Understand What You Already Know
“Journal writing is a voyage to the interior.” – Christina Baldwin.
Putting thoughts into words wipes the fog of your mental glasses.
I’ve been journaling for over three years and it has saved me from taking the wrong path many times.
Most of your thoughts only exist deep in your subconscious. If you journal every day for a month, you will bring them to the surface and know much more about yourself than before.
This knowledge is power. It will help you make the right decisions instead of acting on a whim and regretting it. But staring at a blank page is intimidating – so how do you get started?
There are two simple methods I use:
- Answer specific journal questions. These give you a great, everyday framework for putting your thoughts in order.
- Stream of consciousness. When you’ve got a specific issue that bugs you but you’ve hit a wall, write down what comes to mind. The key is to not judge your thoughts or aim for anything specific – just let the words flow. Get a page or two deep and you’ll have new insights, guaranteed
Strengthen Your Mind and Body at the Same Time
“No man has the right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training. It is a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable.”― Socrates
You have raw, masculine power inside of you – but most men never realize it.
Instead, they hug the couch after work, crack open a beer, and let their potential go to waste.
I’ve worked out for over ten years and the regular gym sessions have given me much more than a jacked body.
- They taught me discipline, structure, and commitment, the basic pillars of true freedom.
- They are free therapy sessions. Sometimes, shit has to hit the fan and lifting weights is a healthy outlet for aggression.
- They are a great way to connect with like-minded, growth-focused men. Some of my best friendships have started with a simple “can you spot me on this exercise real quick?”
- They skyrocketed my energy and drive. The human body is paradoxical – movement creates energy.
