Emotional intelligence is the cornerstone of meaningful relationships, whether personal or professional. It’s not just about being aware of others’ emotions but also about choosing words and phrases that promote understanding and trust. Unfortunately, many people—often unknowingly—use words or phrases that hurt others, damage relationships, or create unnecessary conflict.
These communication missteps often stem from a lack of emotional awareness. A careless comment like “You’re overreacting” can trivialize someone’s feelings, leaving them hurt or defensive. Similarly, dismissive phrases such as “It’s not a big deal” or “Calm down” can escalate situations rather than diffuse them. The problem lies not just in the words themselves but in the lack of empathy they convey.
In 2025, as we strive for personal growth, it’s crucial to identify and replace emotionally unintelligent language. Often, such phrases are used reflexively—without thought—because they’ve become normalized in daily conversations. For instance, someone might say “You always do this” during a disagreement, not realizing how accusatory and absolute it sounds. This kind of language creates barriers rather than bridges, leaving the other person feeling attacked and unvalued.
The impact of these words goes beyond momentary discomfort. They can erode trust over time, making it harder to maintain healthy connections. Whether it’s with a spouse, a friend, or a colleague, a single poorly chosen phrase can undo months or years of goodwill. This is why cultivating emotional intelligence is essential—it’s about being intentional with your words, ensuring they reflect understanding and care rather than frustration or indifference.
To elevate emotional intelligence in 2025, we must consciously avoid words that belittle or dismiss others’ feelings. Instead, we should adopt language that validates emotions and fosters connection. For instance, replacing “You’re too sensitive” with “I can see why you feel that way” can completely change the tone of a conversation. By practicing mindful communication, we not only grow personally but also create environments where relationships thrive.
Ultimately, the words we choose shape how others perceive us and how we experience the world. In the journey toward self-improvement, let’s commit to using words that build bridges rather than walls, paving the way for deeper understanding and stronger connections.
Here are 10 words or phrases to avoid using whether during casual conversations or more serious interactions to maintain healthy and meaningful relationships
1) Whatever
“Whatever” is often seen as a conversational roadblock. It shuts down the dialogue, shows disinterest, and can even come off as disrespect. It’s a phrase that avoids engaging in meaningful conversation or expressing authentic feelings.
Try not to use it often or at all.
2) You always…
One phrase that I’ve personally learned to avoid is “You always…”. This phrase can be damaging, as it makes sweeping
generalizations about someone’s behavior.
Example:
Person 1: You always make assumptions
Person 2: You are not listening
When you use the word, it shows you’re not listening to the other person
3) I knew you were going to say that…
Emotionally intelligent communication involves truly listening and responding to what the other person is saying.
However, the phrase “I knew you were going to say that..” can suggest a lack of genuine engagement in the conversation. It implies that the speaker isn’t really listening, but rather just waiting for their turn to talk.
4) It’s not my fault…
When things go wrong, it’s easy to deflect responsibility. The phrase “It’s not my fault…” is often used to do just that.
One of the things to identify an emotionally intelligent person is taking of responsibility
5) I don’t care…
The phrase “I don’t care…” can be a clear indicator of a lack of emotional intelligence and thoughtfulness in conversation.
It’s better to say “I value your perspective, but I see things differently”
6) You’re too sensitive…
Words hold weight, and one phrase that can really sting is “You’re too sensitive…”.
This words deeply hurts, it invalidates other people’s feelings, it tells them they’re being too dramatic.
A more subtle phrase can be “I didn’t realise you’re quite emotional, are you okay?”
Always show understanding and empathy
7) Thate to break it to you…
Icall this the bringer of bad news.
The phrase “I hate to break it to you…” can often precede a negative or harsh truth.
While honesty is crucial in communication, the way we deliver these truths matters.
Better choice of words “I understand this might be disappointing..”
8) That’s just who I am…
We all have our unique personalities and traits. But using the phrase “That’s just who lam…
” as a justification for negative or harmful behaviors can suggest a lack of emotional intelligence and thoughtfulness.
It implies that our behaviors are fixed and unchangeable, which is not the case.
Self awareness and the willingness to grow are the key aspects of emotional intelligence
9) It’s not a big deal…
The phrase “It’s not a big deal…” can sometimes be used to downplay or dismiss someone else’s concerns or feelings.
Even though it sounds as an attempt to soothe or reassure, it can actually feel invalidating to the receiver.
10) Whatever you say…
The phrase “Whatever you say…” can be one of the most telling signs of a lack of emotional intelligence and thoughtfulness in conversation.
Mostly used dismissively, it indicates lack of genuine engagement and respect for the other person’s perspective.
If you want to end an argument, try saying “I hear your point, let’s find another time to discuss this further”
In 2025, personal growth begins with mindful communication. Avoiding harmful phrases and choosing empathetic words strengthens relationships, fosters respect, and promotes understanding. Let’s build connections through thoughtful language.
Concept inspired by Olakunle Olumide Rapeheal.
